Originally published on February 6, 2015 at Franktuary.com.

Happy New Year!!

Oh, is it February already? Well, the excuse of the next 89 weeks (see this post about counting your life in weeks) is “I have a baby.” It’s a convenient explanation for my rumpled appearance and inability to remember what day of the week it is. Before that excuse, my excuse was “I have a restaurant” which conveniently explained the frequent food crumbs on my personage. Having a baby hasn’t diminished the crumbs, and it has added a variety of goos into the mix so that the crumbs stick even longer now!

I don’t think I was adequately prepared for the quantity and varying viscosities of goos that come out of a baby, not to mention their degrees of pressurization, but thankfully the joys of knowing my tiny pal more than make up for it. If you can stomach a weekend night shift in the restaurant’s dish pit, plunger by your side, you are more than prepared to have an adorable baby barf down your bare abdomen and feel it slowly soak into your waistband five minutes before you need to leave for work. The good news about this scenario is that it reminds you to make sure you’re actually wearing pants before you leave the house.

You hear terrifying fatigue stories of new parents who have left their baby on the sidewalk or in the grocery store. I haven’t had any mishaps worse than trying to nurse the back of the baby’s head – yep, it’s just as fruitless as you might imagine – but I was frightened by a mental lapse around week two of parenthood. While participating in a favorite pastime of mine, making To Do lists – which, now that I understand having a baby, I have renamed Hope To Do Lists – I decided to star the most crucial tasks. You know, the ol’ five pointed star you learned how to draw in kindergarten? Well, two lines in and I was stuck. Beyond the upside down “V” I had lost the mental acuity to draw a five pointed star.

I stared at the paper. Then I resorted to dots. Dots were an attainable goal.

Diminished brain capacity reminds me why we have wonderful, competent people working for us at Franktuary! I’m excited to officially welcome Molly to our management staff. She was doing my job during maternity leave – after accidentally finding herself at the forefront of Bean’s dramatic birth – and did such great work that we’re giving her the position. The position at the restaurant, that is; she immediately retired from her brief stint as Surprise Birth Coach. As Hospitality Manager, she’ll run all things front-of-house plus continue administrative duties and coordination with the kitchen. She’s much better at organization than I ever was, so we’ve basically replaced me with an upgraded model: higher functionality, fewer bugs, taller by 5 inches!

Our kitchen manager Chef Dan joined us right before I left on maternity leave, and he has done an excellent job back-of-house. As of yesterday’s menu change, we’re featuring one of his more lavish creations, the Bahn Mi Pork Belly Confit Corn Dog. Yes, that’s 6 inches of deep fried Asian inspired locally farmed pork-and-beef-and-pâté goodness. We’re very thankful to have Dan around, especially those of us who are, ahem, still basically eating for two.

Baby Bean, though not yet employed by the restaurant, will be an increasingly ever-present fixture. Look for him when you need a cute fix. He has attended quite a few business and department meetings by now, usually contributing gesticulations and drool (“drool” being a specific style of the aforementioned “goos.”) Occasionally he’ll cry if the meetings get too long; I’ve been known to do the same. Monday he fell asleep at table ten, so I got some items on my Hope List done. You work with what you have!

And let’s not forget Lincoln Franklin Loxfoot, owner Tim’s 9-month-old dachshund-lab mix, who is frequently out and about wherever you find the Franktuary truck. You can follow Linc on Instagram if you’re more into puppy cute than baby cute. Sometimes he wears a hot dog costume; sometimes he eats the yellow felt mustard off the hot dog costume you gave him.

Wishing you health, harmony, and hot dogs (real or costume) in what’s left of 2015,

Megan for Franktuary